Goodbye, Kale: Here Are Your Next-Gen Food Baby Names - Modern Farmer

Goodbye, Kale: Here Are Your Next-Gen Food Baby Names

Kale may be a somewhat popular baby's name, but its popularity is on the wane. Here are the next superfoods to name your precious offspring.

A closer look at the data, however, tells a different story. You see, the name Kale has been declining in popularity since 2008, when it peaked at the 503rd most popular male name, according to the SSA. Despite its powerful presence in grocery stores across the country, kale is in fact trending downward. Clearly, the time has come for a new superfood to define a generation of perhaps questionably-named youths, and usurp kale’s place as king. As a public service, here are a few suggestions from your food-minded friends at Modern Farmer.

yogurt

Skyr

An Icelandic take on cultured dairy, skyr is a thicker, creamier kind of yogurt that dates back to medieval times. Today, skyr-makers are on a quest to defeat Greek yogurt’s stateside dominance by emphasizing the product’s lower sugar content. In the U.S., the closest you can get to skyr is Siggi’s – sadly, its “Icelandic-style skyr” can’t compare to the real stuff – but we wouldn’t be surprised if Icelandic manufacturers start heading our way within the next year or so.

As for babies, the name Skyr conjures up images of Norse gods, a viking’s strength, and delicious dairy product. Your son Skyr will be like a destroyer of worlds, if we’re being honest, but no man nor woman will be able to resist him.

teff

Teff

An important cereal crop in Ethiopia, Teff is a good, simple, and strong name. Your child will grow up like the ancient grain: beloved by celiacs, high in protein, and nutrient-rich.

mizuna

Mizuna

A bitter leafy green from Japan, mizuna is the logical heiress to kale’s throne. Despite its fresh, peppery taste, mizuna has yet to explode on the CSA scene, so if you want your daughter to be a tasteful trendsetter, this might be the name for you.

kombucha

Kefir and Kombucha

Packed with probiotics, fermented dishes fill your digestive tract with good bacteria and help heal any carb and sugar-related damage. Dishes like kimchi are the best way to go, but if you can’t stand that pungent smell, kefir and kombucha are two easy, liquid ways to get the goods. Kombucha is a fizzy, fermented black tea with yeast cultures, and kefir is a milk fermented by kefir grains, best used in baking or poured over your cereal. Although the health benefits of kombucha have been questioned, it hasn’t stopped devotees from drinking it because it is (supposedly) just that good. If any doubt remains, just think of all the alliterative opportunities: Kefir and Kombucha Kardashian, for example. No need to thank us.

Subscribe
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

3 Comments
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Related