Farms of Tomorrow, Today
A look into Tex Avery’s absurd conception of farming in the future.
Tex Avery (creator of Bugs Bunny and all-around animation icon) was not immune from taking a tongue-in-cheek stab at what farming might look like 100 years into the future. Released in 1954, Avery’s animated short, The Farms of Tomorrow, spoofed the many ways farms of the future might cross-breed animals (or animals with objects) for increased productivity.
The list below outlines all the goofy farm animal hybrids proposed by Avery, ranked (by yours truly) in order of projected barnyard superiority and usefulness. Each cross-breed is rated on a scale of 1-5 eggs for both functionality and absurdity, with 5 eggs indicating the highest levels of functionality or absurdity, respectively.
1. Orange tree crossed with a fir tree: This cross-pollination would – in Avery’s world – allow citrus fruits to be grown year round in all climates. Bonus? Each orange sprout is wearing a tiny winter coat.
Functionality: 4 eggs
Absurdity: 4 eggs
2. Egg incubator crossed with a toaster: The incubator machine in this cartoon is eerily similar to a recent Saturday Night Live sketch about a Keurig-style chicken generator.
Functionality: 5 eggs
Absurdity: 3 egg
3. Christmas tree crossed with an umbrella: This version of a Christmas tree would simply fold up (umbrella-style) and pop out the next year for easy assembly. This is genius. (SkyMall, where are you when we need you most?)
Functionality: 5 eggs
Absurdity: 3 eggs
4. Cow crossed with a beaver: In theory, the beaver tale would flop around like a ping pong paddle to help ward off flies. The jury is still out on whether the cow would have to use beaver teeth to chew its cud.
Functionality: 4 eggs
Absurdity: 3 eggs
5. Mexican jumping beans crossed with corn: Mainly, I can see this becoming a popular party food.
Functionality: 3 eggs
Absurdity: 4 eggs
6. Chicken crossed with a talking parrot: Sure, the chicken would let you know when it had laid an egg, but it feels like a slippery slope toward poultry oversharing.
Functionality: 4 eggs
Absurdity: 3 eggs
7. Sheep crossed with long underwear: Intended to make sheep shearing simpler, it makes the prospect of owning a fuzzy, lamb-like onesie seem almost appealing.
Functionality: 4 eggs
Absurdity: 2 eggs
8. Chicken crossed with an ostrich: Ostensibly to create larger drumsticks; I think Renaissance fairs have already cornered this market.
Functionality: 3 eggs
Absurdity: 3 eggs
9. Chicken crossed with a centipede: This hybrid would be a way to up the number of drumsticks per chicken. (Avery was really into drumsticks.)
Functionality: 2 eggs
Absurdity: 3 eggs
10. Cow crossed with a kangaroo: Apparently, if cross-bred with a marsupial, a cow’s milk would appear – pre-bottled – in its front pouch. I don’t buy it.
Functionality: 1 egg
Absurdity: 1 egg
11. Hampshire hog crossed with a kitchen sink: This device would place a gigantic hog underneath a kitchen sink to function as a natural garbage disposal. It probably actually exists.
Functionality: 5 eggs
Absurdity: 1 egg
12. Duck crossed with a banana: “You don’t have to pick him, girls, just peel him.” No.
Functionality: 1 egg
Absurdity: 4 eggs
13. Tomato crossed with a grapefruit: “To discourage that vegetable squeezing [grocery store] customer, we’ve crossed a tomato with a grapefruit.” This would be a mighty fine gag if properly executed.
Functionality: 4 eggs
Absurdity: 2 eggs
14. Lamb crossed with a dachshund: This cross would give farmers “five yards more wool per sheep.” Avery clearly overestimated a dachshund’s length and girth.
Functionality: 2 eggs
Absurdity: 2 eggs
15. Race horse crossed with a giraffe: Perhaps the cheesiest of all the puns, this would allow a racehorse to always “win by a neck.”
Functionality: 0 eggs (A terrible pun.)
Absurdity: 1 egg
16. Stork and a big-horned elk: This hybrid creature would accommodate “impatient newlyweds itching to start a big family.” The practicality of a baby for every antler on a 13-point buck borders on Duggar levels of extremity.
Functionality: 1 egg
Absurdity: 4 eggs
Screen stills from Tex Avery “World of Tomorrow” 1954
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